From Twitter 01-16-2010

• 00:13:03: Wow what the fuck is actually going on here? http://twitpic.com/y8qnl
  
• 00:17:50: This one is NSFW (Not Suitable For Wanking) http://twitpic.com/y8rfc
  
• 00:22:22: *Now In Stealth Mode*
  
• 00:35:18: @iThumbmynose "should" be a result for us aye. who have Chelsea got?
  
• 00:36:39: can't believe how tired I am. I blame wossy
  
• 00:39:54: Displaced Chickens of Aruba Bereavement Society #badcharities
  
• 00:43:09: @abstractimages are you watching Silent Witless then? or are you double bluffing me?
  
• 01:19:09: @branderzy I apologise and rescind my comment :)
  
• 20:04:11: @iThumbmynose result!
  
• 20:07:00: @MattyG72 what you watching?
  
• 20:37:19: I'm wearing a kaftan, don't judge me
  
• 20:39:18: @MattyG72 thanks...
  
• 20:41:32: @MattyG72 I think your confusing an Egyptian robe with child porn, it's a common mistake.
  
• 20:49:50: is there anything worth watching tonight? Preferably not car crash tv.
  
• 20:55:01: @MattyG72 I might stick a filum on then!
  
• 21:33:10: @abstractimages a word of warning, it's not as good as its 3 prequels, including Episode -1
  
• 21:38:14: @calvinharris depends on where you were born
  
• 21:38:58: spirograph FTW
  
• 21:45:19: @MerylORourke someone needs to cross burlesque with standup that could work!
  
• 21:46:29: @MattyG72 lazy fucker
  
• 21:49:20: @MerylORourke haha good response
  
• 21:50:22: right time for a film. catch you later unclefuckers
  

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From Twitter 01-15-2010

• 09:10:54: Police Fight Cellphone Recordings - http://j.mp/8ogpTl << people should use Qik or similar to get their films on line in realtime
  
• 09:14:14: Dong Mooring
  
• 10:32:42: @KlarkeKent Because they like like killing people... seriously though US troops shot quite a few people during hurricane Katrina aftermath
  
• 10:37:36: @KlarkeKent nahhh .. jus being provocative .. it was mostly Blackwater but still. Like you said why the need for guns?
  
• 10:38:16: @abstractimages :0
  
• 10:39:20: @KlarkeKent They also have Oil reserves ;-)
  
• 10:41:14: @KlarkeKent it's early
  
• 10:43:53: @KlarkeKent There should be a few hand guns if required at all. I guess the true test is how long they stay there.
  
• 10:47:26: @KlarkeKent I was about to say the same. The usual method .. IMF loan .. IMF take resources as collateral
  
• 10:50:59: @KlarkeKent I'm part way through a book called "Confessions of an Economic Hit Man" - http://is.gd/6iQY1 which is about this exact thing
  
• 10:53:35: @KlarkeKent He was gifted a high profile job, arranged by the CIA to help destabilize countries. I think Venezuela was one of his!
  
• 10:57:13: @KlarkeKent There's a PDF version of the book here http://is.gd/6iRVv
  
• 10:58:21: Right time for a little bit of work. Catch you all in an hour or so
  
• 10:58:36: @KlarkeKent I think so!
  
• 11:01:43: @KlarkeKent It looks a little messy in the layout this one may be better. Im d/ling now will let you know which is better if you hang on
  
• 11:02:20: @KlarkeKent This one! http://is.gd/6iSHX from rapidshare
  
• 11:05:55: @KlarkeKent The 2nd one is a scanned version. so the correct layout approx 11MB PDF
  
• 11:13:20: I am hungry. Please people do not tweet pictures of food for at least another hour and a half .. Thanking you
  
• 11:14:47: Newsnow just got a little bit better. Sun & NOTW now block their access
  
• 11:25:13: @abstractimages Is it your Birthday today?
  
• 11:28:57: @Woodseaves Shit.. I just purchased futures in dried turnip powder, that sums up my life
  
• 11:42:25: @serafinowicz You've just broken that website!
  
• 12:11:14: mmmm biscuits
  
• 12:13:32: @joe_Smoothee Tee Hee
  
• 12:15:46: @andy_lamb Could T-Rex breathe fire ... I don't think so ;)
  
• 12:48:51: @BinaryDad It is feasible, we've seen the pies .. they look pretty good
  
• 13:31:30: Wanky Gervais quits 'pointless' Twitter - http://j.mp/56IM1x
  
• 13:34:24: @andy_lamb He has awards you know.. just like Al Gore and Obama .. ;)
  
• 13:38:02: I used to listen to the Ricky Gervais podcasts, but only for Karl and Steve. The other guy on the show wasn't funny, what was his name?
  
• 14:08:26: Sheep gives birth to human-faced lamb - The Daily Telegraph - http://j.mp/6YWYeg << WTF!!!
  
• 14:11:50: If I complain that Peppa pig has both eyes on one side her face, do you think they will draw her properly?
  
• 14:59:04: @abstractimages if by 'alive' you mean DEAD then yes .. No idea to be honest
  
• 15:06:04: @DazzW I like this picture & caption from that Wiki article http://twitpic.com/y6hrc
  
• 15:19:08: * The Gaul #moviepunctuation
  
• 15:20:30: @MDuette I think thats called bed time :)
  
• 15:28:03: @ack of the Clones #moviepunctuation
  
• 15:29:28: B@ Man Begins #moviepunctuation
  
• 19:50:46: drinking sloe gin ... take that and party!
  
• 20:11:25: @iThumbmynose and perhaps a sense of humour (with a 'u' in it
  
• 21:36:34: @BinaryDad Agreed .. nice bit of boobage there
  
• 22:35:05: another Fucking postmortem
  
• 22:49:33: @abstractimages cheers for the #ff i'm taking the week off, lazy bastard as I am
  
• 23:17:56: A good beard really requires a lot of willpower and a long period of itchiness. heil bearded ones
  
• 23:55:43: I haven't been playing Twitter properly tonight, sorry.
  

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From Twitter 01-14-2010

• 09:23:51: The Military's Pandora's Box by Dr. Nick Begich and Jeane Manning - http://j.mp/588Qba << this is about HAARP
  
• 09:29:04: @andy_lamb There is this webpage dedicated to happy & positive news http://www.happynews.com/ 404 - page not found though (not really!)
  
• 09:38:05: Isn't it weird that "Iranians" hack Chinese search engine and Chinese hack US search engine
  
• 09:39:31: I still maintain that the "Iranian Cyber Army" is a CIA operation or one of the other agencies
  
• 09:56:21: @abstractimages photos?
  
• 10:00:44: @andy_lamb you could be right there, I also understand there is a cooperational link between Russia, China and Iran.2010 will be interesting
  
• 10:06:58: @abstractimages shame, that would have been photo of the day I reckon
  
• 10:17:56: @Mondayisntfunny that's funny
  
• 10:59:22: "Nasa photographs 'trees' on Mars - Telegraph" http://j.mp/8gQneS
  
• 12:05:23: @Woodseaves Do you mean straight from the bag? I'm sure that's illegal!
  
• 12:26:16: @andy_lamb Hey it's not just the looks you know ;)
  
• 12:33:42: @andy_lamb I have a 20 inch model at home from about 2-3 years ago - At least you get to work with one. I have to use windows at work!
  
• 12:42:48: "BBC News - Apology for thalidomide survivors" http://j.mp/5wO5dS << What about the ones that didn't survive ???
  
• 12:46:22: @DazzW oh yeah. Fuck em and their families!
  
• 12:47:29: One in ten respondents to the light-hearted survey thought that a wireless dongle was a sex toy http://is.gd/6fhvc
  
• 12:47:49: And 6% affirmed that VHD (Virtual Hard Disk) was a sexually transmitted disease http://is.gd/6fhvc
  
• 12:48:45: Fifteen percent believed that internet founder Sir Tim Berners-Lee was either head of MI5 or an Arctic explorer. http://is.gd/6fhvc
  
• 12:56:42: QI Robot #gameshowfilms
  
• 13:24:15: Have I Got News For You Only Live Twice #gameshowmovies
  
• 13:33:21: Going For Goldfinger #gameshowmovies
  
• 14:44:39: RT @abstractimages: Grosse Pointe Blankety Blank #gameshowmovies
  
• 14:59:16: ROTHLOLMAO
  
• 15:01:56: "BBC News - Finland in plan to stub out smoking" http://j.mp/8rED0t
  
• 15:04:33: @abstractimages LOL - That reminded me of the follow the bear advert http://is.gd/6fFED
  
• 15:06:06: Police sledge with riot shields on Boars Hill in Oxford - http://j.mp/7NSlCw << No doubt whilst on duty the fucking sh........
  
• 15:16:48: I'm declaring today "National Hunger Day" .. I just can't stop eating
  
• 15:38:41: Don't worry Haiti US Troops are on their way. They expect to be there for the cleanup, no 3 years, no 10 years. OK perhaps indefinitely!!
  
• 15:43:28: @abstractimages LOL .. I was watching a bit of his 2005 show the other day. Carlin and Hicks were awesome
  
• 15:47:00: @abstractimages I didn't actually realise until googling Haiti & Oil together that Haiti had reserves. Hmmmm
  
• 16:16:02: @andy_lamb Speaking of Hovercrafts, did you sort out your Finder problem ?
  
• 16:37:24: HAARP CBC Broadcast Weather control part 1 - http://j.mp/7fehan << saved for later
  
• 16:45:14: Workers from EU claim UK pensions -http://j.mp/7HN1gn
  
• 16:57:39: Most Americans would trim liberties to be safer - http://j.mp/6rdfNQ << No offence meant to anyone but WTF America!!!
  
• 21:23:19: @andy_lamb you'll be buzzin.. Watch out for the nasty come down
  
• 21:40:52: @abstractimages That's awesome .. I hope it's real
  
• 21:45:47: @abstractimages ha ha, yahoo answers for proper divs
  
• 21:47:52: RT @abstractimages: And the prize for the best question of the day goes to... http://bit.ly/7UtStu
  
• 21:48:27: @abstractimages I think you'll be disappointed going by these gems
  
• 21:50:14: WikiAnswers - What is the monkeys enemies http://bit.ly/73mTla (via @WikiAnswers) << Awesome .. Can anyone answer this?
  
• 21:51:05: @MattyG72 Happy Birthday ..
  
• 21:56:31: @MattyG72 I'm just ahead of you so I'll let you know what it's like in just over a year. Then you can decide if it's worth going on
  
• 22:03:25: watching Silent Witless
  
• 22:07:13: looks like some woman has done cartwheels down the stairs into a wall
  
• 22:08:49: @MattyG72 I like Bill Bailey but can't be arsed with bird watching
  
• 22:32:03: I hate post mortems, even dramatised ones
  
• 22:43:02: @MattyG72 Can't at moment .. give me a clue .. what's it on about?
  
• 22:50:35: @MattyG72 ahh I see
  
• 22:54:19: @MattyG72 laters...
  

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From Twitter 01-13-2010

• 09:25:05: WalesOnline - News - Wales News - Blair pledged Iraq support in secret letters to Bush: http://bit.ly/7sE7PJ via @addthis
  
• 09:34:42: Good morning slaves.. heil Sceptor
  
• 11:36:24: BBC News - How aircraft contrails form cloud - http://j.mp/82nKAc << Hmmm
  
• 11:44:17: @MattyG72 Mwahhhhhh
  
• 11:54:05: @andy_lamb Have you got "The Missing Manual" - rapidshare link here http://is.gd/6bmnR 23MB may help!
  
• 12:12:50: @abstractimages Pontypool sounds like a location from Fireman Sam #weathernews
  
• 12:24:31: @abstractimages You are absolutely correct on that one, is Pontypandy Airport closed aswell?
  
• 12:28:39: @jonronson That's the first time I've seen 'Very Nice' and 'Threat' used together!
  
• 12:35:42: @andy_lamb i had the same problem you have to drill down. it's a .chm file eventually. I have the hard copy its a v good book actually!
  
• 12:36:45: I have issued my own severe weather warning and advised myself to go home at 1pm
  
• 12:43:59: @andy_lamb chm reader for OSX http://is.gd/6buaf
  
• 12:48:14: @abstractimages LOL. Fireman Sam was IMO one of the better kids programs. Now we have this hypnotic Night Garden shite
  
• 12:56:45: @abstractimages "Television, the drug of the Nation"
  
• 12:59:46: This earthquake situation is a chance for the UN to save people rather than assist in murder with their so called "Peace Keeping" troops
  
• 13:06:58: i'd love an ebook reader but really don't want to pay for one
  
• 13:23:48: @andy_lamb whether it helps with your particular problem is a different matter entirely though!
  
• 13:26:46: @BinaryDad One of mine was Gloria Estefan, the rhythm however never caught up with me!
  
• 13:31:39: Nude Protest -Airport Body Scanners in Germany - http://j.mp/6kSHHv
  
• 13:32:09: @BinaryDad I never said it was good. Next time I will lie
  
• 13:35:02: Where do I get to watch this Google vs China deathmatch
  
• 13:40:26: Youtube is broken
  
• 14:16:07: I am now home.
  
• 14:17:35: fly agaric spores #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 14:18:20: Weapons Grade Anthrax #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 14:18:37: Depleted Uranium #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 14:22:46: Wasps #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 14:49:48: RT LOL @abstractimages - Ian Huntley's Big Night Out DVD #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 14:53:48: RT @PrettyHate666: RT @CitizenNate
  
  prepare to lose followers: #inappropriatepinatafillings Madeline McCann
  
• 14:55:39: "Solar shield on agenda at climate summit - Telegraph" http://j.mp/5HWNcN << ALARMIST WANKERS
  
• 14:58:54: A hungover Chupacabra #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 15:01:17: horse spunk #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 15:02:40: The Lost City Of Atlantis #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 15:04:00: Weird Al Yankovic – She Drives Like Crazy - http://open.spotify.com/track/5jKQ5qNzecUoD6qSREydS6
  
• 15:05:05: Milli Vanilli #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 15:05:41: The Council on Foreign Relations #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 15:09:09: @andy_lamb Some people are wankers
  
• 15:10:59: lol
  
• 15:11:29: RT @abstractimages: @andy_lamb What a complete cunt. LMAO
  
• 15:11:48: I'm kind of confused as to what is going on. I need drugs
  
• 15:13:59: Jesus's illegitimate children #inappropriatepinatafillings
  
• 15:15:35: Right time to eat.. Laters folks
  
• 17:06:14: I've finished reading the internet now, has anybody got any recommendations?
  
• 17:12:28: @abstractimages cheers I'll take a look at the spoof in a bit. In reality I should start preparing dinner!
  
• 17:16:30: @abstractimages .. yes i'm in Birmingham we operate our own time zone here! . We eat at 6pm usually due to the little un
  

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From Twitter 01-12-2010

• 00:53:30: I'm going to bed now, and I may be some time
  
• 09:34:40: Fury at vaccine scandal - http://j.mp/4QoNRM Up to 200 say they have developed serious physical and mental health problems after injections
  
• 10:20:31: Greetings sons of Adam and daughters of Eve
  
• 10:22:15: If Campbell and Blair aren't arrested after their appearances we should definitely overthrow government using eggs, flour and stinkbombs
  
• 10:27:02: @Woodseaves ha ha, that'd explain my bad hair day
  
• 12:05:39: This will be the warmest winter in living memory – defiant Met Office staffer -http://j.mp/8qnqDn << #LOL
  
• 12:38:22: BBC News - Stop-and-search powers ruled illegal by European court - http://j.mp/8b3CK4 << A little bit of good news finally
  
• 12:42:54: I didn't realise there is a 1 minute delay on the Chilcot Enquiry broadcast
  
• 12:51:35: @robinbogg Wouldn't at all surprise me, the bunch of cnuts
  
• 13:02:15: :)
  
• 13:03:24: @EatMyHalo That really made me smirk :)
  
• 13:23:20: @Saronimo Just make sure you don't use your annual quota in January.
  
• 15:37:11: @abstractimages You sound miserable, take some Prozac .. unfortunately some of the side effects are listed as nausea and drowsiness
  
• 15:42:48: @BBC_HaveYourSay I wonder if they will touch on why Dr David Kelly had to be eliminated? That's a question I'd like to him squirm to.
  
• 16:53:07: Brie-sy Rider #cheesefilms
  
• 16:57:28: Red Leicester To Brezhnev #cheesefilms
  
• 16:58:03: Feta off Dead #cheesefilms
  
• 17:00:44: Edam Busters #cheesefilms
  
• 17:02:30: Gouda West Was Won #cheesefilms
  
• 17:49:10: Madeleine McCann 'Died In Holiday Apartment' - http://j.mp/7jzfkj
  
• 18:22:37: @BinaryDad is it a case of RSI?
  
• 18:25:29: @andy_lamb I'm sure it can probably be quantified in some kind of quadratic equation. Any luck finding your cat yet?
  
• 18:33:45: @BinaryDad Ok I got it.. Strained your wrist whilst doing one handed press ups? Am I close?
  
• 22:10:16: watching #survivors with a 1 minute delay, thus allowing the BBC the option of cutting the feed if one of govt characters speaks out of turn
  

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From Twitter 01-11-2010

• 11:59:18: oops
  
• 11:59:30: Children of Women #pointlessprequels
  
• 12:00:16: I Know What You Just Did #pointlessprequels
  
• 12:06:44: Star Wars Episodes 1, 2 and 3 #pointlessprequels
  
• 12:18:59: RT @Spandavia: 400 people in 2 days!!! STOP #HBOS Face book and website http://stop-hbos.co.uk it's the 1st people power against a bank!
  
• 12:36:19: @BinaryDad Snickers Duo and Kingsize Twix. It has to be those exact varieties though. Normal size chocolate doesn't do it for me #greed
  
• 13:30:02: I've just eaten 4 cookies (not he big ones) and I want more. I love biscuits
  
• 16:07:22: #LOL - Someone on a forum I frequent actualy typed these words, in this very order "I trust MI5"
  
• 21:24:12: Currently watching University Challenge pretending I give a shit
  
• 21:27:57: @abstractimages Yes .. what a cunt this man is
  

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From Twitter 01-10-2010

• 00:29:52: if anyone is considering mixing Stella, slow gin an a touch of absinthe at this stage I highly recommend it
  
• 00:31:00: however I haven't yet experienced the resultant hangover yet!
  
• 00:33:12: I meant sloe not slow , bastard predictive text
  
• 00:55:32: focusing on anything over 12 inches away is becoming increasingly difficult
  
• 00:59:30: "cheese or tease" #failedgameshowtitles
  
• 01:02:15: 8 Out of 10 Cunts. #failedgameshowtitles
  
• 01:11:46: Have I Got Jews to Queue #failedgameshowtitles @itrhymedandiamdrunk
  
• 01:12:53: oops
  
• 01:28:12: @SIMpixels no worries
  
• 01:57:55: Cockmuster #failedgameshowtitles
  
• 02:01:06: @PrezofEarth ... "at" ???
  
• 10:30:46: Morning folks. Somethings afoot. Its not even 10am and i am awake
  
• 10:34:24: @Woodseaves further proof that the sky is falling. Perhaps i am over reacting!
  
• 10:35:03: Breakfast time
  
• 17:12:55: I am sooo tired I have nothing to add today #sorry Must try harder!!
  
• 17:24:55: @abstractimages My son wouldn't eat his soup once. I forced him to eat it though. He cried so much he shot it out of his nose
  
• 17:26:23: @andy_lamb cats huh? We lost one of ours for 3 weeks when he was a young whippersnapper.
  
• 17:29:01: @abstractimages unfortunately not. However when he was about 3 he fell of a swing into dirt. Rather than pick him up I got my camera out!
  
• 17:31:12: Will have to find the photo out of when he fell asleep in his spaghetti bolognese. That was a classic too
  
• 17:40:15: @abstractimages I'll find it later when I shift my arse from the Sofa. I've tagged every photo i've taken using 'faces' on Iphoto !!
  
• 17:45:32: This is one I found quickly.. Bolognese goatee beard
  http://yfrog.com/35zh7kj
  
• 17:50:27: Baddies really are a shit shot in made for TV movies #fact
  
• 18:18:47: @ScottWGraves Iceland?
  
• 18:23:35: "Michael Jackson WAS murdered: Death certificate amended by coroner after police investigation" - http://j.mp/7kA4X2
  
• 18:26:58: @Jason_Manford i've been saying this all along. Nobody listened though!! The w@$kers
  
• 18:38:05: This is funny http://twitpic.com/xjhit
  
• 18:42:07: Tesco Value Mathematics http://twitpic.com/xji3y
  
• 18:48:15: This is also funny. I don't however condone the message (any of them.. whatever they may be) http://twitpic.com/xjj0n
  

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