From Twitter 09-12-2009

• 00:02:06: @yrtlegonzale56 to be honest google can kiss my spotty arse... if you all love google give me a wave....
  
• 00:05:03: @frankseo please nobody fucking message me about fucking google fucking products...
  
• 00:17:58: @Jason_Manford A bloke carrying a car on his head? .. I think this requires a more in depth explanantion!
  
• 00:55:30: @_3_ if you are a convincing liar and lack any moral fibre you're most of the way there
  
• 07:59:45: Twittelator Theme: old skool; by: @neoplasmsix; font: Courier-Bold; size: 15; tx: 01B501; bg: 000101; #tptheme
  
• 08:06:49: Morning funk soul brothers/sisters.... Check it out now
  
• 08:10:59: Tonights lottery numbers anyone?
  
• 10:42:25: @Dervheid cheers, actually did that with photobooth / photoshop elements on a mac, only a slight grimace!
  
• 11:00:39: My new profile pic is a rather half hearted attempt at creating the drug driving advert look... yes its shit
  
• 13:46:40: if anyone has my Ipod sync cable now would be a good time to return it..thanking you in anticipation
  
• 16:21:52: Nigerians waffling in TK Maxx, every other word is 'Mugu' ... I feel a little threatened for some reason
  
• 20:38:20: @andy_lamb sat e a faction ... Remember it well
  
• 20:42:52: individually wrapped buds - now thats service
  

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From Twitter 09-11-2009

• 00:28:54: Cheese + potato / bacon = ?
  
• 00:36:44: Tonights curry is really backfiring, my backside currently sounds like a 1960's VW Beetle
  
• 09:35:05: Just had a look at Oprah forums (not sure why!) - should be renamed the cult of Obama http://tr.im/ypBN - America you are properly broken !
  
• 09:37:07: White House Extends 9/11 National Emergency (Another year of warmongering basically) - http://tr.im/ypCx - #WTF
  
• 10:03:12: Ranked 33,794th worldwide on Cursebird - Fuckers
  
• 10:17:14: Disturbing on more than one level - http://twitpic.com/hajxu
  
• 10:21:25: Last one for now - The" is it Fucked Up?" flowchart - http://twitpic.com/hak5p
  
• 10:25:29: @BinaryDad I just had a look at the website, perhaps its an age thing but nothing on it makes sense, perhaps you need a low IQ to "get it" !
  
• 10:38:12: @BinaryDad It does not compute .. to me the supersuper website looks like pacman has vomited all over ebay
  
• 10:57:19: The drawing toolbox in MS Word should be scrapped and replaced with something that actually works
  
• 11:06:33: Microsoft fuck off - you fail in a way that is an embarrassment to fail
  
• 11:08:02: Nothing fucking lines up if you move the page margins #msfail
  
• 11:12:37: in my anger against MS I have committed my own fail of not saving my work #Ifail
  
• 11:44:02: 'Hijack-proof' airliner will fly itself out of danger - http://tr.im/yq0j - This sounds scarier than the prospect of being hijacked :-(
  
• 11:45:23: That last article goes back to 2006, I wonder whether this been implemented yet?
  
• 12:06:49: I'm sorry if this offends anyone but I hold no pride for men and women who signed up for the job of killing foreigners in wars based on LIES
  
• 12:07:13: Nearly lunch time...
  
• 12:20:39: @BinaryDad - Likewise, I appreciate a lot of them swore some kind of misguided blind allegiance, I guess thats why the recruit them as kids
  
• 12:24:19: RT @Chilma: Reasons I prefer twitter to facebook 001 - it isn't full of cocks who put LOL after every fucking thing they type.LOL
  
• 12:44:52: RT @andy_lamb: Vulvarine #worstsuperheroes #pornosuperheroes - :) someone with a degree of artistic talent should sketch this one up.
  
• 12:46:16: Just lost a follower - ho hum
  
• 12:50:38: @SaraFeenan #unfollowfriday - thanks - thats a cracking idea and my Friday evening sorted !
  
• 12:53:49: @BinaryDad - Nice find - If you press Shift F3 a second time it capitalises the first letter
  
• 12:56:05: in 47 tweets I will hit the big 2000 - something really sweary will probably occur
  
• 13:09:38: @BinaryDad Indeed, it almost as if someone at MS actually thought about something
  
• 13:32:56: Just had a cull of a few useless eaters - I'm please to say I'm still following you lot though :-)
  
• 13:38:48: As a lazy bastard I am curious as to whether anyone has setup a #followfriday website similar to twitter karma..i.e sign in tick the names..
  
• 13:39:03: add a personal message then hit the send button
  
• 14:08:20: Piltdown Man - #worstsuperheroes
  
• 14:14:16: Penitent Man #worstsuperheroes - Catholic super hero with the ability to repent for his sins
  
• 14:17:07: @andy_lamb wasn't that one know as Lucy - the peat bogger
  
• 14:19:41: @BinaryDad - It should but in your heart you know it doesn't
  
• 14:22:40: Nowhere Man #worstsuperheroes - lives in Nowhere Land, makes nowhere plans with the world at his command and does fuck all
  
• 14:31:50: @andy_lamb Like this? http://twitpic.com/hb04o
  
• 14:32:13: RT GUTTED! @followermonitor: @NeoplasmSix I've noticed that @zulutradeforex @TwHCqP stopped following you
  
• 14:51:20: @andy_lamb presumably applied in "History Today" stylee as formulated by Newman & Badiel?
  
• 15:03:56: @DazzW Apparently Newman still does very politically motivated stand up still to small audience, and he has a website !- http://tr.im/yqJz
  
• 15:30:03: RT When will this brain dead TV end? @mrjimBob: Fuckadoodledo http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8250256.stm
  
• 15:34:03: I implore everyone to #ff @BinaryDad to help overthrow the government by using his bots to enslave humanity. 500 followers is the trigger
  
• 15:41:19: @neurosceptic I've seen that advertised..look forward to the review!
  
• 15:46:35: My worst film award for 2009 goes to "The Devils Tomb" http://tr.im/yqVO, I was expecting crap, but this defied all expectations
  
• 15:49:09: @Dervheid couldn''t agree more.. to get any value these days you really have to pick wisely..a license fee for all that crap is theft IMO
  
• 16:04:43: @DazzW #worstsuperheroes was that from Viz or similar?
  
• 16:15:40: There seems to be a bit of a ruckus going on in the middle east (again)
  
• 16:22:49: Test out the new IBM image search http://tr.im/yr5I - my first thoughts are it's SHIT - google image search lets you look at smut!
  
• 19:52:20: Look Around You - "Germs" - http://bit.ly/DdfpK
  
• 21:11:00: He's talking bollocks
  
• 21:13:31: @KlarkeKent I think he is a member of the club and as such can such things
  
• 21:13:45: Say
  
• 21:15:12: @BinaryDad looks like the bot enslavement will have to wait then
  
• 21:17:15: @An_Irish_Brit Yes and this Darren Brown mentalist fella
  
• 21:23:13: He'll be ok
  
• 21:34:20: Nonsence
  
• 21:34:42: Or however you spell it
  
• 21:38:02: RT what he said -> @KlarkeKent: This sounds like a load of bollicks #derrenbrown
  
• 21:52:43: Numbers are of the devil, there I've said it..Derren Brown is doing Satan's bidding... Watch out for goats and pentagrams
  
• 21:57:14: @andy_lamb Count me in, I say dunk the fucker like a witch
  
• 21:57:46: Still no explanation
  
• 22:00:13: So basically it was a fluke?
  
• 22:04:35: Look into my eyessssssssssss
  
• 22:05:43: Gonna watch something more believeable now #supernatural
  
• 23:29:05: he sings nicely for a Fugly
  
• 23:30:12: just shut the fuck up Manilow
  
• 23:31:23: Manilow looks like a middle aged lesbian
  
• 23:32:43: enoughs enough
  
• 23:41:57: QI... rahhhhhhh..nice neck tie @stephenfry
  
• 23:45:37: Does anyone think that Derren Brown could convince Peter Mandelson to just fuck off out of our god damn country
  
• 23:47:27: QI is a bastard repeat..was looking forward to that..damn you BBC you license fee robbers
  
• 23:53:00: Quality work from Something Awful - http://twitpic.com/hd616
  
• 23:56:05: The next tweet is my 2000th...time for a cake and some unnecessary swearing me thinks
  
• 23:59:14: This is my fucking 2000th tweet..doo dah..fucking 2000th tweet doo dah...fucking 2000th tweet - http://twitpic.com/hd71f. ... here me now
  

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From Twitter 09-10-2009

• 08:27:05: Which is more important: child protection or civil liberties? http://bit.ly/17utJU - ALL Parliamentary officials should be CRB'd
  
• 10:52:57: @TheFuckingQueen What a crap article indeed, thanks for the link http://bit.ly/1RrCY9 - Snopes I ask you FFS !*!
  
• 10:57:09: @BinaryDad Not sure about Twitter but a lobotomy and a course of electroshock therapy may do the trick !
  
• 11:22:09: Shelley Ryan appears to have changed her name to TwHCqPm, this doesn't really roll off the tongue too well does it?
  
• 12:22:10: I'm preparing to invoke Dionysus - the god of parties, madness and merriment, however I am short on funds..Paypal donations are acceptable
  
• 12:29:24: Police 'encouraged' to hack more - http://tr.im/ykvX - This is warrantless hacking by government officials and as such illegal
  
• 14:03:23: “Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” - Albert Einstein #quote
  
• 14:22:48: Black Holes and Constipations by Spews #poorlypop
  
• 14:26:50: The Strokes #poorlypop
  
• 16:14:07: @BinaryDad I don't like spiders because they always appear to have an agenda, they can never look you straight in the eye..liars they are..
  
• 17:11:07: Not really sure what the fuss about Obama being called a liar is, getting hounded for shouting the truth..what next?
  
• 17:24:05: @flidby Twitelator Pro probably
  
• 19:54:08: @beatnikrow What's Eddie at the quacks for?
  
• 19:59:27: @beatnikrow Oh balls, he's on antibiotics presumably?
  
• 20:02:55: So is H from steps dead, any official sources?
  
• 22:07:42: @iamadamski they could have given the poor lad a proper burial
  
• 23:01:21: @swarmedax http://www.dakinedecor.com/index.html
  
• 23:56:26: Quite enjoying a scissor sisters video, analyse that uncle fuckers
  

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From Twitter 09-09-2009

• 00:03:26: Listening to the radio at the moment, it's like TV for the blind
  
• 00:05:43: District 9 in my opinion is the best thing Peter Jackson has been involved in since Bad Taste
  
• 08:32:03: so apparently the world is going to end in a little over 30 minutes, numerologists !!
  
• 08:43:56: Anyone not remember this Alan Partridge Lap Dance scene ? http://bit.ly/37Jpj0
  
• 09:45:58: UN wants new global currency to replace dollar - http://tr.im/yesw #nwo
  
• 09:58:07: Alan Greenspan: 'This will happen again' in relation to the Financial Crisis - http://tr.im/yeuP #nwo
  
• 10:05:29: This is an interesting read bearing in mind it goes back to Jan 2000 - http://tr.im/yevQ - cyber terrorism, Saddam etc...
  
• 10:09:41: Dear cats, please do not leave another mouse's nose on the kitchen floor..thanking you in anticipation of your continued support
  
• 11:34:12: @Jason_Manford The most disappointing thing about it is that you have to sign up!
  
• 11:54:46: Star Wars Action Figure related humour - http://twitpic.com/h2g6d #starwars
  
• 12:02:48: @debonbon Ha "Corpsey" - great name
  
• 12:54:00: Girls rescued from fake 'Big Brother' house (Turkey) - http://tr.im/yf4Y
  
• 12:57:56: Carbon-rationing proposed - http://tr.im/yf5x - FFS it is big business (backed by Govts) that is causing the majority of the pollution
  
• 13:37:39: @BinaryDad Comic Sans is always quite pleasing to the eye
  
• 14:04:14: 'Lying down' NHS staff suspended for indulging in harmless fun - http://tr.im/yflO
  
• 14:46:43: @BinaryDad Fair enough.. you could always go for a fixed width font for a real old school feel "quicktype mono" or similar..or probably not!
  
• 15:54:39: @neurosceptic - He was a novelty at first - I think this sums up his character http://twitpic.com/h2zck
  
• 16:44:48: My favourite sandwich of all time was from Philpots and was based around cheese, bacon and banana.. yes banana #DerrenBrownLotteryPrediction
  
• 16:51:58: BBC News - Bed sharing 'bad for your health' - http://tr.im/ygbh - Another science breakthrough and a problem solved #WTF
  
• 17:27:13: @calvinharris Calvin Hams?
  
• 23:09:20: @KlarkeKent 93 days of Acute Tonsillitis is better than 93 days of Big Brother
  
• 23:50:58: @SwarmedAx well, you're in the right place
  

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From Twitter 09-08-2009

• 10:12:50: @SaraFeenan I had to look that up, and now I feel sick
  
• 12:35:58: This is fucking outrageous - "Question a doctor and lose your child" - http://tr.im/y9hN
  
• 12:48:47: @BinaryDad Not since they were banned as being too abstract
  
• 13:09:23: @BinaryDad I couldn't disagree..there's far too much control these days, scalene triangles hardly get a look in too! http://tr.im/y9p8
  
• 15:01:56: I poke badgers with spoons
  
• 15:03:00: Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors
  
• 15:03:19: To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential
  
• 15:35:20: If you can't stand the heat, live in England
  
• 16:24:03: @Glinner this article may help http://bit.ly/xkJnR
  
• 16:25:56: @Glinner control panel / accessibility options / keyboard tab - tick toggle keys
  
• 16:42:24: @Glinner Stupid question, did you remember to click "apply" - i didn't first time round!
  
• 22:14:09: Movie Review: District 9 - Excellent
  
• 23:55:58: Csi Miami - still wishing Horatio Caine was dead, the corny ginger, slanty headed freak
  

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From Twitter 09-07-2009

• 00:32:11: Listening to Pendulum, photek, and Prodigy in bed is probably not the best idea considering I need some sleep.. Ho hum
  
• 00:38:36: @Oobermann likewise uncle fucker
  
• 00:41:09: @Angela_Holtzen you mean 'smack my bitch up' ... My fave at the momment is 'voodoo people' not great relaxation music, fighting yes !!
  
• 00:42:39: @Oobermann sorry didn't realise she was your sister! My mistake
  
• 00:44:04: Thats me done...
  
• 10:42:43: Crime does pay
  
• 11:50:25: Microsoft's Emerging Markets - http://twitpic.com/gu0sj - Powerpoint EXTREME!
  
• 12:14:08: World Health Organisation admits in its own documentation to seeding viruses - http://tr.im/y4SB (see Fast Track procedures - Paragraph 6)
  
• 12:23:29: Surely releasing viruses onto an unsuspecting public is bio-terrorism - Anyone disagree? #H1N1 http://tr.im/y4SB (Fast Track , Paragraph 6)
  
• 12:30:52: RT @Rod_Hull - TV Reception is a bit fuzzy, just going on roof to adjust the aerial #historictweets
  
• 12:41:02: http://twitpic.com/gu3bl
  
• 12:42:30: http://twitpic.com/gu3ei
  
• 12:45:44: Sorry - this one is awesome - God Almighty - http://twitpic.com/gu3gk
  
• 12:51:10: You can't beat a good parody photo to brighten your life, if only for a minute
  
• 12:54:55: Its probably time to change my profile photo (tonight I reckon) - I'm sure people think that I actually look like that
  
• 13:09:08: Is twitter broken for everyone else?
  
• 13:26:44: @Dervheid - for me it has been a bit hit or miss today - seems ok again now!
  
• 13:27:47: Bounce-O-Meter - Crude but ermmm...ok whatever http://tr.im/y57g
  
• 13:31:52: Shelley Ryan is back..to follow or not to follow..hmm
  
• 13:54:37: Pre-Prohibition Poster - http://twitpic.com/gu7qx - your comments are welcome - would this stop you drinking?
  
• 14:00:31: IBM in 2006 said that there was a 100% chance of a Pandemic in the next 5 years http://twitpic.com/gu862 #H1N1
  
• 14:01:32: Oops wrong frame http://twitpic.com/gu8bh
  
• 14:03:07: @Dervheid If it wasn't American (no offence to anyone) then you'd suspect irony
  
• 14:09:06: @Woodseaves Absolutely, and you can guarantee your own death by taking the killer cocktail jab courtesy of Baxter et al
  
• 14:12:46: Back in 2006 - IBM were offering a Pandemic Preparedness service - forward thinking fuckers eh http://tr.im/y5gh (PFD File)
  
• 14:17:49: Another PDF going back to 2006 from IBM - these fuckers knew too much about what was going to happen #H1N1 http://tr.im/y5gT
  
• 14:18:19: Thats my moral crusade out of the way for today
  
• 15:03:05: US Hypocrisy Astonishes the World (by Paul Craig Roberts) http://tr.im/y5r4 - This a good read
  
• 16:31:04: @pearsonmark @Woodseaves #formy10yearoldfollower you mean man ;-)
  
• 16:32:25: @pearsonmark - sorry don't know how your name got on that one!
  
• 16:33:16: I'm having a bit of a #fail this afternoon
  
• 16:41:25: @pearsonmark a failing of tweetdeck is that it collects names if you accidentally click on them, lack of concentration also to blame!
  
• 17:01:40: Anyone on Facebook - take a look at the group DSGi employees - particularly: Topic: "Why is everyone who works in Currys a fucking retard?"
  
• 17:02:53: Here it is: http://bit.ly/k0Iwz
  
• 17:38:48: Just logged onto #spymaster - it appears I have £1.1B - Anyone wanting some virtual wonga send me your swiss bank account number
  
• 20:13:23: watching the Joanna Lumley cat program..
  

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From Twitter 09-06-2009

• 00:10:13: Has anyone seen that winkbingo.com advert - it's fucking creepy, irish dancing bastard dog - nightmares for me tonight!
  
• 21:25:12: If there is one thing that makes my skin crawl it is maggots
  
• 21:32:10: @Angela_Holtzen Ha..thanks for that, but you know they seem kinda hungry...
  
• 21:34:29: Im no fan of dramatised autopsies either, yet I continue to watch the type of TV program that regularly contains them..
  
• 21:35:20: Still, could be worse, it could be reality TV
  
• 22:23:26: @KlarkeKent Ratings?
  
• 22:28:20: @KlarkeKent agreed, they had a pop at google so its not all bad
  
• 22:32:03: @KlarkeKent It is the BBC, they don't do 'thought provoking', whitewashing yes...
  
• 22:39:04: @KlarkeKent Ha..don't get me wrong some of their dramas are great, documentaries..not so IMO of course
  
• 23:31:36: 'ball lightening' - discuss
  

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